Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas to you! 

I don't usually write a note on Christmas day, but this post will constitute the Klazinga Christmas greetings to family and friends (as long as they follow the link on facebook to read it).  We want to wish you a joyful and blessed Christmas season and a Happy New Year.

Our family has changed in so many ways this past year but most of the changes have been on the inside, growing, maturing, learning new things, and experiencing life in new ways. 

Rather than recount all the ways we have lived this year, I will simply share a photo of our family and extend our love and thankfulness for our family, friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ who have walked alongside us and encouraged and prayed for us this year.  Our hearts are full when we see how God has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.  We pray you will also know that blessing this coming year and every year until Jesus comes in the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.  (Ephesians 1:3-10)

Lead the Way

When I first heard about the trip to England I started dreaming.  We were attending regularly what would become our new church and had heard snippets of testimonies from almost a dozen missionaries or mission fields over a period of a few months. It is amazing to hear what God is doing in His church globally.  When our church started talking about sending a team of people to England for the purpose of encouraging a small, fledgling congregation I thought, "Wow. if only I could be a part of something like that. "  At the time, we weren't members of the church.  And that was the least of the obstacles preventing us from pursuing this area of service.  We both wanted to go and we didn't think we could afford for both of us to go.  So, I put to rest my quickened heart and told myself I wasn't going to think about it because it would have to wait for a better time in our life.

About a month later, the prayer requests for sending a team centered on having some women consider serving the church in this way.  Bryan and I talked about it again.  Although our financial ability to pay for the trip hadn't changed, we asked more questions and prayed about whether it would be possible.  We were both experiencing a desire, a calling, to serve the Lord by helping a congregation in another land not too terribly different than our own (they speak English, after all, so we already knew the language).

We told one of the planners that we were prayerfully considering the possibility of going and he let us know what the cost would most likely be for each of us.  He was excited that we were seriously considering being a part of the team.  This conversation happened after a Sunday evening worship service.  The next day, Bryan had a call from a company he has never heard of to answer questions as a consultant for an hour and they would pay him generously for his time.  That same day (still Monday)  the financial aid package for our college student was finalized and gave us a little more 'wiggle' room with our budget for what we needed to save before the next semester of classes began.  That evening we talked about how God seemed to be opening the door for us to trust Him to provide the financial means to commit to the mission trip.

Since then, we have received a few gifts from family and business associates to help us on our way.  We are trusting that God is providing the way for us to not worry about what it will cost monetarily. He knows what our concerns are about being fiscally responsible when we have college tuition to pay, but He also asks us to trust Him to work out all the details.  And He is doing abundantly more than that: He is equipping us to serve Him in England.

We are excited about how the Lord will use us.  We are also excited to visit a country that we have always wanted to see.  We are looking forward to meeting fellow believers who share a common faith and hope.  We hope we can also talk to people who are searching for the truth that will set them free. We are preparing our hearts through prayer, reading some books, and discussing what we may face as we minister to the Solihull congregation.   We trust that God will use us how He sees fit and that we will grow and learn more about His faithful caring for us through our experience.  Where He leads, we will follow.

More on England

I love all things England; I guess that makes me an Anglophile.  I have wanted to travel, maybe even live, in England for a good portion of my life.  As child books transported me to different locations in the world and different times in history.  England was my favorite location and English authors have always held a special place in my repertoire of reading materials.  I am a fan of mystery stories, so Agatha Christie and Dorothy Sayers are like old friends of mine who I visit through their writing when I need some light reading.  Churchill and Chesterton, Lewis, Tolkien, Orwell, Potter, Dickens, Doyle, Kipling, and Shakespeare have their places on my bookshelves in our school room library.  And more.

  In high school, my fascination with the Kings and Queens of England morphed into becoming a student of history in college.  When I researched what kind of education I wanted to provide for my children as we homeschooled, my sister told me about a British educator named Charlotte Mason who taught students, parents, and teachers in her lifetime.  It was an easy fit for me to use Charlotte Mason’s methods in my school and to base our curriculum on Western Civilization beginning with the Birth of Britain. 

I have dreamed about visiting England for a long time.  Whenever Bryan and I would talk about which country we want to visit for our first trip overseas, I voted for England (his vote was for the Netherlands since both his parents were born there).  

The idea that an island has birthed a civilization (or at least perpetuated it) that expanded to all the ‘corners’ of the globe makes me want to see the land and its historical landmarks.  I want to feel the history of the place and to experience the people who live there.   I want to absorb the culture, the history, the air, the sea.   

I have a running list of British idioms that I am practicing as a fun way to prepare for the journey (that’s ‘trip’ in American English).  Bryan is looking forward to a fry up; I know how to ask directions for the loo (or bog?). We look forward to a lovely time as we stay a fortnight in the country.

Visiting England this Summer

Bryan and I are embarking on a new adventure in our life.  We are part of a short-term mission team that will travel to Solihull, England to encourage and interact with Christians and their neighbors.  We will be with a small congregation for 10 days and then do a few days of sightseeing before returning home.  This is one of a series of adventures of late that have marked our life together.

The biggest change for us in the last 6 months is joining a different church family.  One of the benefits of joining a new church is that we are very accustomed to meeting new people and learning about them.  So going to a different country to meet new people is not as intimidating as it may have seemed in the past.

We are stepping out (maybe I should say walking out) in faith as we plan our trip.  We can't really afford it on paper, but God is providing the means for us to go.  And we are trusting that He will be leading us as we meet and encourage fellow believers.  We will also be inviting neighbors of the church to a few events.  It will be interesting to see how we are received by the English.  And how much we can connect with the Christians we meet at the church in the short time we are there.

It is exciting to think about doing 'work' like this in the church in the future.  We both have wondered if we could be used as encouragers to new believers (discipling) or as supporters of a new church just starting out.  We look forward to what we can learn from this trip about ourselves and about how to care for strangers to whom we are connected through our faith in the Lord Jesus.

Here I go again...

Starting over: I think I start over every week in some area of my life.  Why?  Because I am not a disciplined personality.  I am a disciplined-habit-keeping-routine-list-making wannabee.  I want to have my day ordered, taking things one step at a time, having habits in place that I don't have to really think about.  I know the value of going from one task to another without having to 'talk' myself into the task; it should be automatic, I shouldn't waste brain power or will power to 'decide' to do it. Like making my bed or getting dressed in the morning or putting my glasses on.

I want to be disciplined, and yet no matter how often I work on this area of my life, I still, after almost 50 years, can't get it perfect.  Probably one of the few habits I have is working on forming habits!  I know that my personality is what is making it impossible for me to succeed in this desire.  Maybe it's the procrastination part of me; or is it the flexible, change-embracing (as opposed to change-resisting) part of me?  Over time I have become less of a procrastinator and more of a habit or routine keeper.  If I do fall into procrastination mode, I still gets lots of stuff done as I avoid the one or two tasks over which I am procrastinating.  I frequently make lists of what I have accomplished for the day just so I can see that I am actually getting things done, habitually, every day.

Some of the things I have learned about myself is that if I am given a detailed plan to follow about how to do pretty much anything, I will resist it, rebel against it, and eventually change it or tweak it to my own ideas about how to do something.  What does that say about me?  Is it my rebellious nature that does this, or is it a positive side to me that just gets out of hand sometimes, preventing me from following someone else's idea of how to do something?  I won't follow a recipe to the letter (mostly for cooking, I do pretty much follow a recipe for baking),  I can't follow a diet for longer than a week, I can't do the same thing at the same time every single day of my life, and if I start to see myself doing that, something inside of me kicks in and stops me from sticking with it.  I wonder how I managed to raise four children, feeding them, caring for their bodily needs every day--I guess that is one area where I did keep good habits without even thinking about it.


At this point, you may be thinking that I am some kind of a freak who never gets anything done.  Actually, I read books all the time about how to be efficient, creating habits, dieting and exercise books, plans to follow for every area of my life--housework, hospitality, home schooling, Bible study, and more. I love thinking creatively about how to get things done and reading or hearing about how others accomplish what they do in a day.  Mini habits are the way I get things done--breaking up my goals into very small chunks so I can see myself succeed (at least for a little while) and baby steps that become real habits to me which I follow for the rest of my life (mostly).  I have to be 'in the mood' to cook, to clean, to write, to read, to exercise.  Even when I tell myself that I am working towards consistency and true habits, I have to qualify myself because I will never be able to keep to the habits absolutely. I don't always know my own limitations, and so I get stressed about how busy I am and wonder how I will ever get anything done which paralyzes me and sometimes prevents me from starting something new or causes me to procrastinate.

I wonder:  does anyone keep routines, daily habits, disciplines absolutely?  I do know people who seem to be ultra-disciplined.  Usually, they are the people that I wish I could be like. Disciplined people seem to know what they can do and what they can't.   But sometimes they seem to have difficulty being flexible with their day or don't deal with change or life circumstances very well.  Nothing is allowed to distract the ultra-disciplined from their daily work. I am sure they get a lot done, and their flexibility exists as long as it can be conformed to schedules and routines.  But there seems to be less creativity at times, less spontaneity in these kinds of personalities. Maybe that is the trade-off for being a person completely disciplined.  And actually as much as I wish I could be as disciplined as they are,  they also drive me a little crazy when I am around them.   I drive them crazy, too, I am sure.   That's the interesting side of having relationships with people who are different than you.

My assessment of the disciplined person as compared to me may be completely wrong.  I may be glorifying their abilities or justifying my own weaknesses.  My desire is to reduce daily stress by having habits in place so that on my worst day I can still get up, and 'do something', or many 'somethings'  so each day is a success.  I struggle against my own flesh (physically) and against the leanings of my personality (mentally) to do, accomplish, excel at life, to be someone who values small daily work that adds up to bring meaning to me and to others.  All of the habits I want to develop should serve me intellectually, spiritually and physically.  Routines, discipline, habits should serve rather than enslave an individual; if I keep that in mind, hopefully, I can find a balance of creativity and flexibility while working towards keeping habits with less effort.  

A New Year Note

Dear Friends and Family,

Happy New Year! We look forward to 2016 even as we reflect on what God has done for us as this year closes.

This year has been one of blessings , challenges, changes, and perseverance.  As a family we have witnessed God's love and mercy, His faithfulness and patience with us, and His reminder to us that He is real and that He cares about every detail of the plans He has for us.

Bryan and I celebrated our 25th year of marriage all year long.  We enjoyed sunny Orlando and even sunnier (except when we were there!) Jamaica as quiet get-a-ways from our busy daily life.   It has been wonderful to reminisce and remind one another of the beginning of our love life together.  How far we've come and how much our lives have been shaped by our love for each other and by the love of God in our lives.

Justin graduated from Grove City College in May and secured a teaching position for the 2015-2016 school year at a Classical Christian school in Beaufort, SC.  We see him (and make room for him) every weekend as he travels 3.5 hours to and from the coast.  It may sound like he's had a hard time separating from us, but in reality he comes home every weekend to see Sarah, to whom he is now engaged! (Yay!)

Joanna started her college career in January at University of South Carolina Lancaster.  She is a teacher's assistant and is balancing classes, work, piano lessons, and teaching Sunday school.  She has been blessed in all her endeavors and truly enjoys life as a college student right now.  She wants to study history and possibly minor in music and will have to decide if she will continue her schooling at USC or transfer to a smaller private college in the next year or two.

Aaron works at Chick Fil A, has been accepted to Liberty University next year, and is in choir, has a garage band, and plays soccer and rugby.  He is in his senior year of high school , always a challenging year trying to figure out what comes next and what to study in college.   He has grown in his faith this year and is a blessing to us as we help him work through all the possible ways he feels called to serve the Lord.

Abigail is in Year 8 in our home school.  She plays soccer, enjoys choir and has good friendships near and far.  She is learning to play the ukulele along with her piano lessons.  She is such a good help to me regularly in the house and a joy to teach.  It will be strange to have only one student in our home school next fall but I look forward to it.

We've seen both sets of our parents this year deal with health stresses that they have faced.  It has been such an encouragement and testimony to us and to our kids to see older saints who are facing life-changing news by trusting in God and calling on His mercy and His healing.   My parents and Bryan's parents are living out their faith and trust in their Savior and do not hesitate to show how much God has cared for them in the big and small things.

It has been a year of reconnecting with family even though we may not see them face to face.  We have had our ups and downs as a family, but feel the love and encouragement even if we can't be with each other in the same room, house, city, state, or even country!  We know that prayers and Christian love surrounds us as we share our lives with one another, even at a distance.

Our hope and comfort has always and continues to be in our faithful Saviour to meet all our needs.   Through disappointments, trials of faith, suffering for Christ's sake, blessings, and trusting in what is unseen but sure, we will face the new year as we did the last: with confidence and joy. 

Wrapping it up

I must confess a failure of mine that I believe I have passed on to my children:  I am unable to wrap gifts.  I confess this today after wrapping Christmas presents.   You may be thinking: just watch the many tutorials on wrapping on you tube and you'll figure it out.--been there, done that.    It's like those videos of how to fold fitted sheets into neat squares; it looks so easy when someone else does it.  I think this year's wrapping projects are actually my best yet, but I still haven't unlocked the secret.  All my wrapped boxes have the paper pattern right side up, most of them have square edges, none of the paper is torn at the edges, and best of all: I didn't give up!  Or, maybe you wonder how I can blog about such a mundane topic.  I'm pretty sure I can fill at least 5 paragraphs explaining and expounding on this particular weakness that I've lived with all my life.

I love wrapping paper because it has so many colors and designs.  I search for sturdy paper that won't tear easily and that has some kind of grid or geometric pattern that will give me guide lines so that when I cut the paper it will be somewhat straight (that's another problem I have that may be related to this one; I can't draw a straight line very well so I don't cut straight, either).  This year I found a huge roll of heavy wrapping paper at Costco that is reversible!  How cool is that?  And I decided that I would wrap the girls' gifts in one pattern and the boys' gifts in the reverse pattern.  Since this post is confessional I will admit that I already messed up that plan by wrapping a gift for Aaron with the wrong pattern.  But I fixed it:  I wrapped the outside of the wrapped box with a strip from the reverse-boy pattern.  Problem solved.

I love wrapping paper but I also get excited about wrapping gifts.  Basically, I approach every gift wrapping opportunity with hope and optimism:  this gift will be my best wrapping yet.  This year I got smart and kept lots of amazon boxes so that all my gifts could go in a box first.  You're probably saying to yourself: of course, who would wrap a strangely-shaped gift without putting it into a square or rectangular box first anyway?  But that kind of question is what separates true gift wrappers from people like me.  Just like the assumption that watching people on you tube wrap gifts means that I will become proficient at wrapping like they are.

So, I have beautiful wrapping paper, square or rectangular boxes, tape, and scissors.  I have my large cutting board as my surface so I don't cut crooked or pull the boxes onto my lap at some point. The stage is set for an easy gift wrapping session.  I can see in my mind what I need to do; cut some paper off the roll and begin.  This I believe is where everything starts to go wrong.  And I think this is why the you tube videos are useless.  They don't explain how much paper I should use.  If someone would just give me a rule or procedure for cutting the right size of paper for the box I am wrapping, I think I could actually become an expert gift wrapper (see the eternal, hopeful optimism?).

Wrapping becomes a full-body experience with tape sticking to fingers, the gift in my lap so I can hold a corner flap down while I twist around to locate the scissors that have ended up just out of reach to cut extra paper that I didn't know I would have and don't know what to do with on the end flaps.  Effort and care goes into every gift I wrap even if it may not seem so by looking at the finished product.

I wrote at the beginning of this post that I fear I have passed on my poor wrapping skills to my children.  As I sit here writing I look across the room at a very large box that has upside down snowmen on it.  I also see a cowboy boot wrapped mostly in a penguin pattern--I say 'mostly' because the toe of the boot has the reverse pattern of snowmen.  Beside the boot is a wrapped 2-liter soda bottle.  Do you see why my use of boxes this year is inspiring?

This brings me to another confession: we have in the past wrapped gifts in pillowcases, towels, blankets, socks, brown paper bags or store bags.   NOT Christmas gifts, usually, but birthday gifts don't always get the same time and care in presentation.  Sometimes it seems too time-consuming and expensive to go out and buy birthday wrapping paper and wrap a gift for just one child who will tear it apart in a few seconds anyway.  And since I pointed out the wrapped cowboy boot that is being used to hold a gift, I must also confess the odd-shaped gift that has a stapler sitting on top of it underneath the wrapping.  The offspring of mine who did this said it was because she doesn't want the recipient to guess what the gift is.  I guess it didn't occur to her to use a box to disguise the gift's shape and weight.

I don't know if anyone outside of my immediate family has problems with gift wrapping, but I do feel better admitting my inadequacies.  My gift wrapping failures offer a valuable and practical lesson similar to the adage: don't judge a book by its cover.  Not every thing or everyone has external beauty.  We must look beyond the external wrappings; it's what's on the inside that counts.  That is the real gift.

We begin again

We start another school year on Monday--2015-2016--a final year of high school for my son--a final year of middle school for my daughter.  I haven't done a whole lot of prep work yet besides thinking about the year and pulling lists of books from our curriculum guide.  I haven't even planned in my head how the days of week will go or what our daily or weekly schedule will look like.  I know what I want to implement that has been lacking in previous years, but  I also know how busy the days and weeks quickly become.  I want to really study this year, even if that means not using every resource that is planned, as long as the ones we do use serve us well.

I would love the year to be simple and straightforward.  I would love to not feel rushed, to have time to think and talk and write about what we are learning, to absorb beauty and knowledge in each of our disciplines of study.  I sound like I'm the student, not the teacher!  I would love for my students to experience the year in this way.  Quality not quantity.

There are always loopholes in our educational journey.  In the past I've fretted over missing some of the richness offered in literature or language study or poetry, art, nature studies.  I remind myself at the beginning of each year that we are learning how to learn just as much as learning the content itself.   We are learning to love to learn I should say; the desire to know, to delve, to seek information, to seek beauty, to understand the world and all that is in it to the best of our ability at any one time in our life.  And to exercise that desire to learn all throughout our life, not just when we are in 'school'.

There is still some trepidation as I wonder how the year will unfold in reality rather than in theory (or in my head).  But I am still excited about beginning again.

The Usual Suspects

I attended the first concert of Aaron's band, The Usual Suspects, last night and was blown away.  Of course I am biased, but I thought the amount of raw talent in the room was amazing.  Almost all the band members learned their instruments within the last 6 months, with the exception of Patrick on keyboard and Aaron on guitar.   Several of the band members taught other band members how to play and all of them worked up their skills to play all their pieces from memory.  They played 17 rock n roll cover songs from various artists.

They were modest in touting their abilities, but it was clear that each one of them had worked hard over the last 6 months to hone their talent.   No, they aren't ready to make a CD or anything, but they really enjoyed the fruit of all their hard work and long practice sessions.  With each piece of music, you could see them getting into their groove and simply enjoying the music and having fun.

The audience, made up of parents, friends, and a row of teenage girls, loved their energy and talent.  I was proud of my son's behind-the-scenes work ( he wrote out piano music for the keyboards, helped teach guitar riffs, kept the rhythm and beat, and worked long and hard on his own instrumentals and vocals) and his stage presence was great.  All the guys were relaxed and were naturals on stage.

I know the time commitment was crazy at times, but the passion each of the boys brought to their music was evident.  I know they won't ever forget the experience.  They really are a 'garage rock' band (they practiced in a garage most of the time) and they should be proud of their accomplishments.

We're done!

Our 2014-2015 School year is closed--we are finished.  Well, not completely. But I have declared that our year is done.  It feels good.  It is a weight off my shoulders--and my mind. I feel a sense of accomplishment and completion--no more guilt or worry or persistence to get those last few things done. No more cajoling, persuading, commanding, bribing.  No more patience, graciousness, firmness, mental acuity, calmness, kindness, biting my tongue. No more angry outbursts, tired eyes, headaches, interruptions of house work, interruptions of school work, waiting around for students, searching for books, pencils, paper, calculators, etc. Yay--let's celebrate!

Of course, we still have to read a few more chapters in Mark Twain's Joan of Arc.  And we are working through SAT/ACT prep books throughout the next 2 months.  And I still have to finish recording grades, finish out the semester assignments on Home School Tracker, begin the new school year on HST, start planning 2015-2016 school year. And there's always our foreign languages that we try to work on more in the summer because we have more time. 

But otherwise, we're done! And not a moment too soon--actually we're done when I thought we would be, even though we tried to finish earlier.  It didn't work.  But at least these last two weeks (after a two--make that three week break) were not as intense because we were already mostly done. 

Now on to the summer projects!  

  

It's Inevitable

It was inevitable.

I picked up soiled tissues all week long.  

I hung around people who were coughing and sneezing.

I slept in the same bed as an infected person.

The germs were bombarding me all week long and my body seemed to be resisting.

Today I went to church feeling ok.  I was very cold, though, and my knees hurt.

When I got home I felt a little 'off'. 

After eating, I had a heavy, tired feeling and my throat and my bones were achy.

I went to bed for the afternoon.

But I was chilled and achy all afternoon and only slept a little here and there.

Now I am home alone while everyone else is at church.

I hope that resting this evening will cause this virus to be less durable in me than it's been in the others.

I can spare one day, tomorrow, but after that, I will have commitments that I cannot avoid easily.

I pray that my body will not be as battered by this virus as the rest of my family has been.

I don't know why I think I can avoid the pain and aches, even the length of time these germs germinate.

But I want to avoid it; I've been hoping to avoid it as I've watched each family member succumb.

Knowing the inevitable, or thinking I do, as I sit here resting, is not a comfort.

Live and Learn

Wow, I've had a blog for several years and I feel like a beginner, still.  I haven't spent enough time on this blog to figure it out and make it work for me.  But, no more.  Even if it takes all year, I am determined to become a real blogger by blogging regularly and making my blog reader-friendly.

I read a news byte recently of a study that showed how to keep your brain agile, sharp, and growing as you age.  The premise is that if you challenge your brain with things that are difficult to learn, even if it takes you a long time to learn, your brain grows; it is exercised.

So, I guess I'm ready to exercise! First, I'll change the outward appearance of my blog (if only it were as easy as a few clicks of the mouse to do the same for my person!).  Then I hope to really write, frequently, so as to get into a habit.  Almost like a journal, I think.

I guess I will measure my success at the end of the month by taking a count of my posts and tweaking the layout to suit my preferences.  Then I will challenge myself to post photos, to post links, to have different sections of the blog for books, quotes, poems, whatever.  I hope to stop second guessing myself as much as I do now which prevents me from posting at times.

Ready, set, go!

Pray without ceasing

Have you ever prayed for a complete stranger?  I don't mean praying for someone who you don't know personally.  We've all prayed for the missionary family in Africa or South America whose prayer letters are dispersed through our churches.  I mean someone who you see in the grocery store or on the street, who you will most likely never see again, have no relationship with except a one-time sighting.  Or maybe you haven't seen the stranger, just know he or she exists.

When I was in high school I remember clearly something my history teacher said.  She was my favorite teacher; she made history come alive by talking about people and events in the past as if she were telling her class a story.  But the only words I remember clearly from her now 30 years later told me something about her own life that she probably didn't realize she was revealing.

She gently ridiculed Christians as she taught us about early Western civilization,  the Crusades, or the era of Renaissance and Reformation.  But her words one day are seared into my brain, probably because I had so much respect for her as a teacher.  She spoke in a mocking tone.  "There are people who believe that God has a plan for everyone and that He does plan and carry out His purposes in circumstances as mundane as whether they will be get a red light or a green one while driving, or what they should eat or drink, or whether they should wear this dress or that one.  As if God cares about each person on such a personal level or that He controls the world in such a minute and detailed way.  That kind of blind faith has been the cause of some awful events in history. "

Her comment stuck with me.  I think because I felt she was targeting me personally (she was, whether she meant to or not).  She thought that kind of faith was naive and even dangerous.  But you may be wondering what this has to do with praying for strangers?  Well, as I wrestled with her view of Christians, I realized that my relationship with God was based on just such a 'naive' faith.  In my mind, it was reassuring and a comfort, in her mind, it was simple, silly, and child-like. I prayed for her that day and have prayed for her again and again over the years when that incident is brought to my mind.

Even while I was ridiculed indirectly for my 'child-like' faith, I was exercising that same faith through prayer.  I think that incident helped to contribute to my habit of praying for people I don't know who may be facing situations that are stressful.  When I hear an emergency vehicle barreling down the highway or on the streets of my neighborhood, I pray for the person who is waiting for their response.  I don't know what is happening, but I can hear the siren, so I ask God to be there and to be glorified through it.  I don't have to know what effect my prayer has; what I do know is that I am hearing the distress call and that I can ask for help from the One who sovereignly ordains all that will come to pass.

Today on my walk I saw a woman packing up her car and noticed that her garage was full of boxes, like she was moving.  Her house is not for sale, but someone is leaving it.  I prayed for her situation, asking God to work in the lives of those who live there, that His will may be done and that they would submit to Him and come to Him if they don't know Him.  After praying, I wondered if I am presuming on God in some way.  But I know that even though I don't know the person or situation, He does.  Is it ever the wrong time to pray?  I know I can pray for the wrong things.  I know that my prayers are as imperfect as I am; but I also trust that God will use the intercession as He sees fit.  And that I am called to intercede through prayer when I know someone is in trouble. 

A friend shared with me years ago that she prays for people who the Lord brings to her mind throughout the day.  I have used that model as my own, praying for people that I think about when I think about them, and praying for people especially when I've told them that I will pray for them.  It's not just about words or good intentions.  It's an act of obedience to ask the Lord to govern and intercede in this world so that He can further His kingdom and His glory.  I know that He is using my quick prayers throughout the day to strengthen my faith, if not for any other reason. 

We are to pray without ceasing.  I see prayer as a dialogue with my creator, as an open communication with my heavenly Father.  I am trying to cultivate a prayer life that reminds me in whom I put my trust and "I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me." (I Timothy 1:12)

Family relations

My dad's brother died a few weeks ago.  Uncle Earl was the oldest of three boys; Dad is the youngest.  My parents didn't learn of his death until a few days later when my sister saw something on facebook and quickly contacted my parents to see if they knew anything.

My dad was re-connected with his brothers after about 30 years of time and distance separated them as surely as differences in faith and values had.  I first met my Uncle Earl (the first time I can remember) while visiting my parents about 12 years ago.  It was surreal.  To know that there was a man who was so similiar to my dad, talked like him, looked like him, shared childhood experiences with him.  He was an engaging man and I enjoyed the few visits I had with him.  More importantly, my dad enjoyed renewing his relationship with his brother over the last few years.

A few years ago all three brothers were gathered around a dining room table reminiscing about their childhood years, telling stories about cars, jobs, people, events that took place 50 years ago.  I felt blessed to sit and listen even though I didn't know who they were talking about.  Our extended family doesn't gather together very often and it was a unique, never-to-be-repeated evening of connections.

Watching my dad interact with his brothers, hearing and seeing the similiarities and the differences between them, reminded me that blood binds us to our sisters, brothers, parents, grandparents, even if we are separated from them by time, distance, or belief.  We look like them, we sound like them, we may share personality traits (whether we want to admit it or not), we share a common beginning.  We have a whole lifetime to either grow together or grow apart.  Or both.  I vote for growing closer together, at least as it applies to my own brothers, sisters, parents.

A New Day

The first day of the year is always one of reflection and planning for me.  Today was no different.  I love new years; they're like new beginnings.  Just like each day is a new beginning in some ways.

Today we took a family picture, very casual, but nice.  I think this will be a new family tradition as long as we're together on new year's. 

I've been planning to send New Year's greetings to family and friends with a family picture.  I'm never good at getting everything done before Christmas;  I am a non-conformist in many ways (my new way of describing my rampant procrastination).

So, without lots of words that will take time to think out and write out, here it is: (drum roll, please).

Happy New Year!  From my family to yours!  I know 2014 will be a year that brings blessings and trials and lots and lots of love from our gracious God and King.

Secrets

I hate secrets. I don't like people keeping secrets from each other.  I think society would be a better place if people were honest with each other about what they were doing and why.  I especially do not like families keeping secrets from each other.  Sometimes secrets are kept inadvertently because  someone isn't personally involved in an event or situation and so the incident passes and is forgotten.  That is more a matter of privacy and convenience.  But sometimes family members purposefully keep information or incidents from other family members.  Why?  Simply to 'protect' that person in some way?  How does it protect someone to not know something that effects the way a person lives and looks at things?

I believe in open communication in a family.  I am not saying that a  person should be able to say anything to another person in the interest of full honesty.  That could be hurtful.  We should respect feelings and emotions in another person and not purposely try to hurt someone with information. 

But just because someone may be hurt or his life changed if he is let in on a secret, does not justify withholding information.   We don't honor that person or respect him if we think he can't handle a perspective or event that may be hard to swallow.   And we damage our relationship with the person who has information withheld; we can never be completely honest with him again. 

Life is tough; we can't live it as if the hard things didn't exist.  We don't have to tell someone everything we think and feel about what is happening, but we can't say nothing at all.  I think it's a form of Lying to do that.  We are not being true to people when we keep things from them.  Even to some extent, how we feel about something.  It's deception. 

I am not an 'every thing is black and white' legalistic kind of person.  I do think there are 'gray' areas of life where we have to use discernment and wisdom.  Information about certain things is one of them; but we should err on the side of honesty and uprightness, rather than secretiveness, vagueness, deceptive talk or half-truths. 

Just think if everyone around you knew something about you that you yourself did  not know.  Some surprises are like that; your husband plans a birthday party or celebration for you and wants it to be a surprise.  But what if it's knowing that a close family member is in trouble or that your son is leaving college to go into the military or your husband lost his job and hasn't told you yet.  Those are 'surprises' that we cannot plan for but we must disclose to those who need to know.   It is dishonest to not tell someone something because they will be upset, or in shock, or disturbed by the news. 

Keeping secrets that are life-changing from someone whose life will be changed by them may disturb me so much because I am good at keeping someone else's secrets.  I've kept  secrets through the years when a friend or family member has confided in me for advice or encouragement or prayer.  Those confidences weren't mine to divulge, but there are every day secrets that are better to be made known.  I've seen my share of those in my family, too, and I've cringed when asked not to 'tell' mom or dad or sister or whomever. 

Secrets get harder and harder to reveal as time goes by and as the deception grows with time so does the outcome of telling that one person who was kept in the dark.  Betrayal and distrust are fomented with a secret that is kept too long.  Is it worth the pain of the present to bring on deeper pain in the future when all is revealed?  Or is it worth the guilt that comes with keeping the secret for years, or the fear that you or someone else may slip up and reveal it accidentally?

God has kept some things secret from us, his image-bearers.  We do not know the secret will of God as it is worked out in our own life and in this world.  But we do know all that we need to know to love our Creator-Redeemer and to Serve Him in this life and the next.    Some secrets must be kept to protect the innocent or to prevent gossip or to uphold the integrity and respect for an individual  or entity.  But many secrets should never have become secrets; we are not God and we must trust Him enough to deal with the consequence of revealing what needs to be revealed to the person who needs to know and hear.  

Cozy Kitchen

We've been tearing out and re-creating elements in our kitchen for the past 10 days.  What fun! I am being just a little sarcastic, but really, it has been fun to realize ideas, plans that have only been in my head until now.

So far, we've removed (the experts call it demo) the tile countertop and backsplash. We've had new countertops installed and a new sink (with basically new plumbing). Now we're waiting to install the backsplash, touch up the nicks on the lower cabinets, and touch up the paint that was messed up by the removal of the backsplash.  I'm hoping this will all (or mostly?) be done by the end of next week.  We're having people over for Canadian Thanksgiving (Columbus Day) in a week and I'm looking forward to using the kitchen to its fullest again.  

It's all material--literally.  It's different, gorgeous, even (I'm a little biased), but still only stuff and things.  I 'love' my black-charcoal-subtly green-veined soapstone counters, my soon-to-be white beadboard  backsplash, my future kitchen island (when the budget gets built up again) and my new QUIET dishwasher (it actually cleans the dishes!).  I'm thankful that we were able to finally do our kitchen remake that we talked about since we bought the house.  It's actually been a really good time of the year to do it, schedule-wise.  But we could have waited.  I would have waited.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am content.  I'm thankful we could afford to improve our kitchen so that we can enjoy it and use it more effectively.  But I know there is a time and place for change, including home improvement, material change.  This is our time; if it weren't, then we would be using what God has made us stewards of somewhere else.  We do use it elsewhere: kingdom work, college tuition, music lessons, family, . . .

Our project isn't finished--there will probably always be something that requires fixing up, if not in the kitchen then somewhere else or for someone else.  But I'm happy about how it is right now.  A work in progress, moving toward completion.  

Celebrating technology

This post is being written from my iPad.  I'm sure I'm behind the times, but I just discovered that I can write a post from the blogger app.  I'm not sure if this will be an incentive for me to post more frequently, but, hey, I'm writing right now and I probably wouldn't be if it weren't for this app.

New ways of doing old things are fascinating but daunting to me.  Sometimes it just seems too time consuming to learn a new way (like the saying about old dogs and new tricks infers), but if we never learn anything new, how can we stay in touch with the majority of people who know these things? 

So I'll try something new, as long as the learning curve isn't too steep and the benefits outweigh the initial frustration or confusion.  I'm not at all tech-savvy, but this one was pretty easy---after I reset my gmail password because I couldn't remember it (2-step verification) to one I use on another account so I wouldn't forget it, even though I had to make sure I was remembering that one correctly by signing in to that account on a computer that had to verify it was me because it didn't recognize the device (another 2-step verification), then completing my sign in on the blogger app.  Not too steep, just time-consuming.  

Home Is Where the Heart Is

I don't usually get sentimental over houses.  I guess it's the way I grew up.  My family lived in seven houses (in six states) from when I was born until I went away to college.  My parents never owned any of them---they were parsonages or rental homes.   Since getting married I've lived in seven  separate places (from mobile home to apartments to houses) in four states.  In my childhood years, a house was a place to live until you moved to a different place.  

But there has been a house that has been a constant in my life since my first visit to Southern Ontario, Canada to meet my future husband Bryan's  family.  Bryan didn't grow up in the house; his family didn't move to 'the farm' until he was 16.  But their home became my home ever since I first met the Klazingas, and it has a place in my memory and my heart because it is has been 'home' for 24 years--the longest relationship I've ever had with a 'house'.

When we heard this week that my in-laws sold 'the farm', the USA Klazingas were all a bit sad and nostalgic.  This home is Grandma and Pake's house to my kids.  It is 'our trip to Canada', our memories of Christmas, of swimming , of singing 'Oshimoki (Don't Go near the Eskimos) around a campfire, of meeting cousins and watching them grow up, of the rooster in front of wedding couple portraits, of fires in the fireplace, mice running overhead in the basement, conserving water so the cistern doesn't run dry when there are so many people in the house, lots and lots of plants and flowers, grilling burgers, watching fish swim in the little pond, seeing fireworks, stars, even the Northern Lights, hearing trains go by, watching snow storms and rain storms from the sunroom windows, hearing the wind blow across the fields.

I remember long drives 'home', the last 10 or 15 minutes of driving down long country roads, anticipating the outside lamps on, and Mom and Dad waiting for us to arrive.  That feeling of going home is strong; it becomes associated with the house as well as the family you visit.  We were welcomed in every time we visited and there was always room for everyone.  There were old toys to play with, old books to read, lots of food, big breakfasts, celebrations, visits of cousins and aunts and uncles, coming home for family reunions, funerals and illnesses.  We watched the house undergo lots of changes over the years--remodeled kitchen, bathrooms, new  deck, air conditioning, water features.  But it was always a place of peace and quiet, filled with love and family.   

I know that house isn't  my in-laws' first house, nor will it be their last, but it does have a special place in mine and my family's heart.   We will miss seeing 'the farm' when we visit Grandma and Pake again.  It's just a house, but it was also home.  For as long as I can remember, when moving away from a place, I walk through the rooms of the house I am leaving, as a way to say goodbye and remember the time spent in the house.  I don't know if I'll get a chance to do that before my in-laws move, but I know the memories of 'growing up' there will not be forgotten.

Giving a Bridal Shower Devotion

I've been asked to give a devotion for a bridal shower on Saturday.

This devotion will be different than most of the ones I've done in the past because I am only writing notes, not writing out the whole devotion.  I've wanted to try to present a devotion without reading every word.  I am not good at organizing my thoughts in my head and then speaking them to a group of people, but  I will never be good at it if I don't try, so that's why I'm trying.  My fear is that I will begin babbling, with many disjointed thoughts that make sense to me but to no one else.  I get nervous speaking in a large group of adults (I don't get nervous in front of children--only adults--go figure!).

I'm keeping the devotion simple; Scripture readings and some notes on how to apply them to a marriage. Simple is hard when it comes to talking about marriage; I want to include so much more than I have time to say.  There are many directions one could take when speaking to a future wife about what it means to have a good marriage.

Today after finishing what I wanted to say, my husband gave me four main tenets of marriage as he sees it:  love, respect (honor), communication, and sex.  I've included love and respect in my presentation, but missed the other two, not because I don't agree with him, but because of my adherence to 'keep it simple'.
I could just imagine trying to talk about the importance of sex to a group of ladies!  Definitely not a topic to speak about when one is learning how to speak from notes only!

My husband's quick list of what a happy marriage consists confirms that there are more topics to choose from in giving a bridal shower devotion than there is time to share them. Another topic formed in my mind when my husband gave me his list: the differences between men and women, especially in how we think. That could be its own devotion--how God has created us male and female to compliment/complete each other.  Or a devotion on Biblical communication.  Or on physical intimacy as a characteristic in marriage that makes the marriage relationship unique and different from any other human relationship.  I could go on and on. I hope I don't go on and on tomorrow (a sure sign of rambling!).

Tomorrow my topic is living out your Christian walk in the Lord through your marriage: treating a husband as a beloved Christian and centering marriage on a relationship to the Lord Jesus so that as a wife grows in the Lord so will her marriage bear the fruit of that growth. A simple concept that takes a lifetime of practice.  If marriages are based on God's Word and prayer, they can be fruitful. 

I will read the summary of God's Law that Jesus gives us in Matthew, and I will read passages that show how Christians are to treat each other as they learn to serve and love the Lord.  Nothing profound, just a reminder that as Christians our marriages should reflect first our love for Jesus. There will be a lot left unsaid, but hopefully everyone present will be able to relate to the promises and commands that God gives us in His Word, no matter if they are married or single, as long as they are Christians.