Do I Know You?

I just met two women whom I have communicated with by email but did not know as live human beings until yesterday afternoon. We had a meeting at one woman's house to discuss upcoming school activities.  The hostess introduced herself and proceeded to tell me and the other woman all about herself.  Not really all about herself--who can do that?--but I learned a great deal about her life in the past year and even longer through a 10-15 minute "let me tell you about myself" conversation. 
      The things both these women communicated to me were personal, life-changing events that shaped who they are and gave a glimpse into what things they hold dear.  I can tell you that the hostess loves her family; her short history entailed stories of her children, her husband, her parents, even her grandparents.  The 2nd woman gave a glimpse of her marriage to us as she shared a big decision she and her husband made about their family.
      Both these women told me more about themselves than what they said in words or stories.  I learned a little about each of their personalities as I listened to them share their life, their priorities, their testimony about God and His care for them.  I learned that they were 'open' or  'transparent' people.  
      Today I discovered something about our piano teacher that revealed a secret identity of hers to our family.  I am somewhat shocked about what I learned, not because it's awful, but because it gives me a such a different picture of who she is.  I thought I knew her; now I feel that what I knew wasn't all there was to know.
     I'm sure that can be said for everyone I meet.  Who do I really know?  How much of herself does a person let me see?  I was not nearly as forthcoming with the two women I met yesterday as they were with me.  I wondered  if I should mention events in my life that were triggered in my mind after hearing their stories.  But I didn't.  Not because I didn't like them or that I wanted to hide something from them; only because I don't really 'know' them as friends or confidantes. 
     Maybe that is why our family didn't know the secret identity of our piano teacher. Our relationship with her is a professional, business relationship.  I wonder if she didn't tell us about what she does besides teaching piano because she knows enough about us to think it would effect our relationship with her.   She really wasn't keeping it a secret; it is just a part of her that she doesn't advertise or broadcast to her piano student families.   It gave us a new perspective into who she is.  
     What do I really know about someone, anyone?  Do I know who she is by what she says or does?  Yes, of course, we know others by their words and actions.  But I know people by what they don't say, also.  Although I must be careful not to give motives or reasons for saying or doing something that exist only in my mind, not theirs.  But I can tell if someone is quiet or shy, hurting or happy, stressed or carefree, optimistic or pessimistic.  We communicate many of these aspects of our personalities through words and actions, not to mention body language.
     Sometimes we communicate ourselves to others more than we think we do.  How others  view us may be very different from how we view ourselves.  It can be a fruitful exercise to try to see yourself through someone else's eyes (if you can).  It may tell you something about yourself that even you didn't know.
     There are still facets of ourselves that we can withhold from others, be it things we do or what we believe.  And those withholdings, that reticence, may not be revealed for years in a relationship.  Is this deceptive?  No, I think we keep back part of ourselves from certain people for good reasons. 
     The intimacy of our relationships may be defined by what we withhold even more than by what we reveal.  Writing this blog tells you something about me, but certainly not even half of what I think or feel about any given topic.  I have to pick and choose what to say and what not to say just like we all do every day in our contacts with people.  It requires a degree of discretion and wisdom to know what is good to reveal and what is better to withhold.
     Nothing is hidden from God; we do not withhold from Him any part of personalities, even if we think we do or wish we could.  But in our human relationships, what you see is what you get, for the most part.  How much do others see of you?  If someone is not seeing the 'real' you, why not?  Or do you reveal too much of yourself--should 'less is more' be your new motto?  
     Every person is unique; but every person is flawed.   We are called to imitate and conform to Jesus, who perfectly revealed himself to us.  The sinful parts of our personalities should not reign over us as we see ourselves for who we are in Christ.  I know you and you know me in the best way possible, through Christ.  That should be the first and foremost part of me that others see.  Does everyone you know see Christ in you?